Tired.

I am extremely tired, sad and a bit lost (but finding my way), and I feel like I am gasping for air inside a vacuum.
I feel like a vacuum. An empty space of nothingness. I feel alone; completely and utterly in the sense - alone.
I am tired of feeling alone.
I am tired of being alone.
I am tired of faking who I am.
I am tired of pretending.
I am tired of trying to be so many different things.
I am tired of not being able to see clearly where I should be going.
I am tired of being stressed about the little things and the big things.
I am tired of feeling everyones pain when i don't even know my own.
I am tired of my work, my life and my discomfort in my body.
I am tired of feeling ugly, less beautiful, not worth it.
I am tired.

I went to church today after about 3 weeks of not attending, and I just feel a few things have been re-highlighted. You know when you re-realise that your lost again and you're just frustrated as to why this keeps happening to you. You ask yourself what it is you are doing wrong and what direction you keep missing or what it is you aren't seeing. It's extremely frustrating I know. I am extremely frustrated.
But, I guess this is life. You have to keep finding your feel. Take  deep breath, dive and remember that once in a while you have to come back up for air.
Resurface, take a step back, analyse, correct, fix, stretch; and dive back in.