The summer of 2013, was without doubt the worst summer of my life; but also he best. From a fairy-tale prom night to a heart-wrenching and disastrous prom a
fter party amid the drunken fun everyone else seemed to have been having. I was completely and utterly almost entirely obsessed with someone I hardly even knew well enough. I was almost driven mad with the desire for what i will call companionship, of a sort. I wanted so dearly to fit in with his lifestyle and group of friends with which ironically my best friend belonged to. in this process however, i allowed myself to become lost. I almost forgot whom I was and all what I stood for. Basically, I was weak at the knees with what i knew was not love, but wanted to be. It all seemed so perfect then, even going on to think I deserved every single thing I got back at the end. I mean, I probably did; with the way i seemed to treat boys, especially the ones who actually seemed to somewhat care for me (though i never believed anyone of them actually did, which was probably the reason for the way i always acted in these supposed relationships)I specifically knew, that I definitely did not know what I wanted. That was one thing I was sure of. And amid my indecisiveness, I sort of dragged down those who were involved with me. A shame it was, yes; but wow- the lessons learnt from those experiences.
I wouldn't say i regret last summer. I would simply say, I am glad it all happened at the time it did, even with the people it did. I still care for that one person i never thought would be really affected by my actions, but in a slightly different way from last year, as I am aware now, things ca never be the same, and I'm okay with that. I simply cannot allow myself to care any longer.
So I guess that's it then. I can't continue to drone on about this lost cause. Its simply no longer interestly to think about the same thing/person over and over again.
C'est la vie et Au revoir mon chere.
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